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My first Life Between Lives session.

I was excited, and also a little doubtful. The truth is I had done hypnosis before, and although I had received important messages, felt intense emotions and reached memories, I hadn’t experienced it with that much depth (or so I thought). The only time I had tried a Life Between Lives hypnosis, let’s just say the conditions weren’t ideal for a great result (I was tired and sleepy, it was a double hypnosis, plus a glaring light kept pulling me out of focus the whole time). And although in that one a wonderful sensation did come — of rocking in a hammock in the treetops — along with a supposed past life, I remember very clearly that when Luis asked me things, the one I now know is one of my guides would only say something like: this is not the moment; what more do you want to know, if you already know everything you need?…

So my doubt was whether this time I would be able to get anywhere, but in a way I also had openness and calm.

I had several questions or intentions I wanted to put on the table for the session:

• To connect more with my guides and know how to be a greater and better channel to carry out my mission, to raise consciousness and help heal and bring more happiness into the world.
• To understand my affinity and mission with Indigenous cultures and traditions. More than understanding — after talking with Stephanie and Lili about our work in the communities, my question became how to integrate their wisdom without corrupting it.
• I would love to explore love more deeply. Lately I have felt that I came to experience new forms of love and to remember the love that I am; to remember what love really is, not what I’ve been told or what has been established.

Those were the main ones, and it was interesting because the very night before the session I dreamed about something related to Indigenous cultures. In my dream, my cousin had three Indigenous women helping in her house and, for some reason, she had cut the hair of all three… I just remember feeling a brutal indignation, knowing that in Nahua culture keeping women’s hair long until a certain age is a matter of honor — and she, knowing this, had cut it as punishment for something they had done wrong.

I don’t feel that kind of anger in real life. I remember arguing with her and then calming down, as if my reaction had been exaggerated, but I still knew it was wrong. In my dream I also remember thinking: if this affects me so much, it must be because something like this happened to me in a past life.

Anyway, a preamble to this whole story. We began after a bit of conversation…

He told me to think of a place that relaxed me, and suddenly I was in an open field, surrounded by mountains, lying on soft grass that enveloped me, completely wrapped in that cozy-blankets-in-the-cold feeling, looking up at an open starry sky. I settled in and began to relax; it was lovely to feel so relaxed after several days of being anxious, tense and out of sorts.

We began going into the past, to happy moments of childhood. (Here memories come to me, but so faintly that I don’t know if it’s my conscious mind or truly the unconscious — but I trusted it.)

The first memory was from when I was about five years old. I could only see part of the kindergarten I went to, from above: I could see the path, the entrance and the garden perfectly, but the memory stopped there. Even so, although I had no visuals, I had the sense of knowing exactly what day it was and what I was wearing.

It was Friday; for some reason Fridays were special, and because they were special I chose a special outfit. This time it was a black shirt with little frogs in different colors. My brother had the same one and we dressed alike. I felt deep joy: I was happy, I loved going to school and I loved playing with my brother. There was nothing more, just that…

The second memory was in the living room of my first house — or what I remember of it, because it seemed I was a baby. My grandmother was holding me in her arms and, again, I didn’t know whether I was bringing up the memory of the photo on my desk or whether it was real, from the hypnosis. But the feeling was what mattered: I felt held, physically and emotionally, by that being I loved so much, my grandmother.

Then we went to my mother’s womb. Wow, there I really felt it! I was the most excited little soul to be born and to incarnate. I was ready, more than ready; I couldn’t wait to come out. Even writing this again, I feel that excitement once more.

Raphael asked me at what moment I entered the fetus… I didn’t think the answer mattered much, but what came was around four months (I didn’t know whether that answer was mental either). What wasn’t mental was that feeling of “I want to come out already!”, plus the love my mom felt for me. I was a very wanted and very loved baby.

Raphael asked me if I knew my mission, and it was just a reminder. I knew perfectly well what I was coming for: to help humanity, to live, to experience — it was an enormous desire to experience… Now, connecting it with things I’ve heard, it’s as if they had told me “you’re going to Earth,” and it was my most awaited expedition. I remember it and I get emotional. This is the second time I’ve come back to this part of the story and I get emotional again.

From there I began to feel my family’s energy, and it’s strange because although on the physical plane it looks separated (my dad on one side and us on the other), the energies were deeply united; it was a wonderful core. At the soul level we are deeply united.

I felt everyone’s love. My mom didn’t take much of a leading role as an energy, although I already know she is one of my main supports. What was surprising was feeling my dad so close and so clearly: our energies wrapped around each other and I felt again like when I was a little girl… I felt his care and his support; his energy was embracing, holding. His soul told me “I am here to support you,” and it was very powerful. I started crying from all the love I felt toward him, which I hadn’t felt on the physical plane in a long time, and it made me sad not to be able to feel that love and closeness with my flesh-and-blood dad. But I understood what I needed to understand. And he told me: “The fact that in this life I don’t support you the way you’d like doesn’t mean this isn’t the way I came to support you. I will always be your support, and everything you live on the earthly plane is as it must be.” (Whew, how powerful.)

Then my brother. He was a blue energy and mine was orange; the two danced in a swirl upward. It was the energy of play, of companionship; I felt we had lived many lives together. It was so familiar… And the most surprising part is that on this plane I felt I had to support my brother and my dad, that I had to hold up my family, when the reality is that all of them came to hold me up and to help me with my mission. It’s as if, just as they are here, they are exactly what I need for what I came — or we came — to do. My heart expands just remembering it.

Then it got a little blurry: there were black and orange colors, and it seemed as if I were coming out of the hypnosis. I came back, and it looked like a planet with purple waterfalls falling like a pillar of light in the center, from above and from below. It was like home, like the source…

Raphael asked me about my guides. It felt like they were there but hidden, almost teasing me because I kept looking for them, as if playing hide-and-seek, but at the same time saying: “What are you looking for, if we’re always here?” I felt again that same presence that months earlier, in the “failed” attempt, had told me I already knew everything, that I had nothing to do there.

Its message seemed the same… It told me: you already know all of that; if you were Indigenous in another life, you already know it, and it hardly matters. “Get rid of all the mental clutter and everything you’ve been told you should experience, and from there let the questions come, or let yourself experience your answers.” And it invited me to a place of light, like a Roman amphitheater, but everything was light: a sphere of white light. I had to reach the center, as if to connect, but it was hard for me. I didn’t like having to narrate everything that was happening; it was like “let me get there and just be in the place.” So about three times I asked Raphael for a few minutes to receive what was coming, what was there. It was as if narrating it, or his questions, broke my concentration.

Suddenly I arrived, and it felt as if my heart clicked into a perfect gear in that sphere. And suddenly I felt pain, like the pain of a broken heart… But that was the entrance: from that pain the universe of light opened up and, with it, the entire universe of love! That’s it! That is what I have to do: open, and teach others to open. Pain is not bad; pain is a door.

Then, with my hands, I began doing what my guide told me. It was as if I had to compress the layers, the barriers, to the maximum, as if they were a sphere of lava rock I had to crack open. The moment I broke it by the force of squeezing with my hands, it was like an explosion of light in every direction. A lot of strength — it takes a lot of strength and determination to break them layer by layer, and that’s what hurts: breaking the layers. But afterward it’s feeling one with existence. That is love: non-separation, unity with the whole.

From there the important questions or answers came. “Ask for what you need; it’s already yours. You know exactly the people you need, and they’re arriving or on their way; you know exactly which people add to what you came to do. Listen to your intuition: you know who to work with. Liking everyone doesn’t mean you have to work with everyone; in this mission it’s the souls who came with you who will truly help you — don’t waste your time with the rest. With the people who feel like family, this should feel easy; never feel that you have to suffer or work hard to achieve it. What you need has already been given — trust.” Grishka’s energy was present. At some point everything became a celebration of all the little souls. I didn’t recognize all of them, but we were all celebrating.

Raphael asked more… but the questions I had planned were no longer important. I already knew those answers. Whether I had been the leader of some Hawaiian tribe didn’t matter… I already knew; I was just waiting to see it in a vision so I could justify it and feel good about it, but it really doesn’t matter, because I already know everything.

Raphael asked me what my name was and what my guide’s name was. Those questions were irrelevant to my guide and to my soul: “what does the name matter, what does it matter,” they said. Something with S, Sh came to me, but they had no interest in sharing the name. It was as if they were asking “why are humans so interested in names and in naming things?”… it made no sense.

Then came an energy of shining black, like the light of an eclipse: beautiful, black in the center and brilliant at the edges. And I (or my soul) was pure shine, bright yellow. The two of us moved like veils flying through the air, like sheets or ribbons, each in its own color, perfectly intertwined, flying together. I felt a beautiful energy of love; I don’t know if it was my guide, a love from another plane, or whether I also came to recognize it as another part of me: the grounding part, the dark part — not as shadow, but the part that roots me. Because I, like that little soul who entered my body, am shine, leaping, bursting into light; and my other part is the calm, serene, sensible one. We are the perfect balance.

It took me to another space, another sphere of light, with trees inside and, again, grass. NATURE: it was clear, I had already been feeling it — I need nature close. Before or after, Raphael asked what I needed to keep fulfilling my mission. The message repeated: nature, nature, nature. “You have to find times of stillness in nature. You are nature.” And there, mixing it with the Indigenous communities, there was a shaman or tribal chief with his feathered headdress, who said: practice, connect with nature, investigate — but no longer from the mind; practice.

They told me I needed a conscious routine: more meditation, more nature, more dance, singing or things that connect me with spirituality. The repeated message: “You don’t have to do all the work; open yourself to the people who will help you do it. Knowing how to do everything doesn’t mean you have to do everything. Lean on others.” More retreats, more experiential learning. More practice. More nature. Nature in solitude. Stillness.

Raphael asked me about the names again. My guides still didn’t understand why names were so important, but two came through. My guide, complement or whoever it was, is called Stone, like that grey stone that anchors me; although it didn’t have the shape of a stone, that was its mission: to keep me in balance. My soul was Light. But for some reason, every time Raphael referred to me as Light, it was as if that wasn’t my name…

I already felt complete with what I had lived and was ready to come back, but there were still questions. Raphael asked me about many of the people on my list. He asked me about Eder and the lessons he had come to teach me… And although I knew the answer, what came was that he came to teach me strength: strength to remain in me, not to lose myself, to remember who I am. Then he asked whether there was anything more to do there. I felt the same thing as always, resistance and rejection. The message came to do a clearing, but at the same time another message came: that resistance was necessary, that rejection was necessary; that soul has already fulfilled its role in my life and is not someone who needs to be with me anymore. That’s what that feeling is for: to protect me.

Then we moved on to Vero. It was strange, because I couldn’t perceive her. Thinking about it from the outside, it feels as if she had decided to break the channel, but I honestly don’t remember exactly what I said.

I asked about the situation I was going through, and they told me: everything is perfect just as it is; everything is perfect for what you came to do, and everything is what you chose to learn. I suppose I already knew it, but the reminder gave me back my peace.

I’m surely missing details, but with these it is already more than wonderful; I’ll come back and write if I find any more.

I ended the session flooded with peace. I had been through quite difficult weeks that, although I had moved through them with more awareness than ever, still hurt.

After several weeks I felt I went back to being fully myself — that I went back to being Light! That I went back to shining. And just before coming back, my soul told me: “By the way, I’m not Light — I’m Shine!” That’s what I am: shine! And for a couple of days I didn’t shine the way I usually do, but I’m back. Ready like that little soul incarnating, ready to take on the world, ready to continue my mission.

I am Shine, and I’ll keep shining for me and for others. Smiling, shining, sharing joy, because that is what I am. Shine for me, shine for you, shine for everyone.

Shine and Stone. I love Stone. I am one with Stone.